Some hair just fell in my face and I mistook it for a moth. I flipped out momentarily but then went back to what I was doing. Luckily no one was around to see.

Ever stare at a word
and realize, what the hell, that can't be English.
Like, the word catch.
Talk about awkward looking.

catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch
catch

I love muffins.
Love 'em.
But dear god, they've got to be moist. They really do!
Nothing can ruin your day like a dry muffin.

Sometimes I just stand at the sink and wash my hands over and over in hot soapy water for minutes.
I find it very soothing.
Especially when I'm distracted or distressed.
Too bad it makes my fingers crackle.

I have three friendship bracelets on my wrist.
They tickle a lot sometimes when I least expect it.
Sometimes it makes me jump for dear life cause I think some shit is like... on me.
But it's not.
It's just my friends telepathically tickling me via friendship bracelet.
Douchebags.

I don't have a problem with other people hearing me pee in public restrooms.
I don't.
But in a public bathroom, empty or not, my bladder will simply SHUT OFF and not allow me to pee.
Doesn't matter how much I want to, or how badly I have to.
I just can't!
It's rather frustrating.
And I'd ask if anyone else has this problem, but they don't. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one here.

I think writers who credit their sources in a "works cited" format are douchebags.
My theory is that "works cited" is a way for people to sort-of-but-not-really give credit to other people by writing it in completely incoherent gibberish.
Why can't you just say who wrote it first, and where, rather than encrypt it in a puzzle that takes you about twenty minutes to decode?